A post I almost put on my old blog about abuse...

I was going to post this to my old blog this summer, and left it out, but here's a starter post about something that isn't incredibly narcissistic:

To be honest, I can't really think of any good leadin for this and, since this isn't a paper, I'm not going to worry about it. I'm also going to use gender-neutral wording in this case because, hey, dudes are abused, too.

Abuse is nasty. I mean, we all know that, we're told not to hit as kids, and we're told that, if a partner ever hits us, we should leave them (at least, I sincerely hope that people tell their little boys that, too).

Problem is, people in abusive relationships can't always identify it. Sometimes they're not actually being hit, sometimes they think the sex is just rougher than they would like, sometimes they think that their partner is just a dick to everyone else, so why not them, sometimes it's the wall crumbling instead of their flesh. Abuse? Psh. That shit ain't abuse. It's just that my partner loves me that much, right?

And then there's the fact that any human being, when they feel physically threatened, is inclined to fight back. There isn't always a clear-cut case of antagonist vs. victim. Sure, he called my ass fat, but I called him a prick, so what? Just two high-spirited people. Double points if you're both teenagers, because you're just hormonal and, I mean, teenagers don't have a lot of self-control, so of course sometimes she'll chunk a chair across the room, of course sometimes he'll force himself on her.

This is a problem.

Watching this video is what started me thinking about this. Mind you, it's by Eminem, who is, as has been discussed a little on my Facebook, a career misogynist. If you're not familiar with his work and you're not thrilled about graphic depictions of violence against women, don't familiarize yourself. It also features Rihanna, and you all know that story. I don't think that the video is one way or the other. I don't think it glorifies abuse, but I don't think that it makes a strong statement about it; rather, it shows a fairly realistic portrayal of how those kinds of relationships often work. I also don't know that I think that it's this song's job to argue against domestic violence. It's not that I think that we have enough argument against domestic violence in our culture, but I don't think that one more awareness song is going to make a difference. We need changes in the thick of our culture, and one shallow statement from someone who spends the rest of his time discussing violently assaulting women isn't going to change the game.

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